Kia Garriques

It’s funny how life turns out, isn’t it? When you are younger, you think you have it all figured out. By the age of four you are resolute in your decision to become an astronaut, to have ten cats and dogs and live in a big purple house. Nothing is going to stand in the way of that dream. In fact, you have already decided that it is definitely going to happen.

As you get older, you start to get suspicious when the adults laugh at your best laid plans, and as you move up the ranks in primary school you realise just how slightly far-fetched those dreams you once held onto so tightly really are.

This is all just part of growing up though, right? To start out with the naïve idea that anything and everything is possible. Talking dinosaurs exist, as do eccentric toads that live in mansions in the woods; you can do anything you want to do and be anyone that you want to be. Trivial things such as qualifications and exams don’t even figure in your plan at all. Then – boom! – they become the centre of that world.

As we begin to be conditioned by the world around us, that sense of self and that strong childhood resolve begins to erode, and all of a sudden we become dominated by ‘the fear’. You know the one I’m talking about – the fear of failure. It’s that voice of vulnerability and insecurity that rears its ugly head when we are making important decisions, life plans and trying to deal with the regular dramas that life throws at us.  It can consume us to the point where those once bright dreams are nothing but a fading memory.

I know a little bit about this fear, as I have been experiencing it a lot over the past year. I have always firmly believed that life is for living and that the pursuit of happiness starts with reaching out and grabbing my dreams and goals by the scruff of the neck. No matter how determined and ambitious I am though, there is always that niggling little voice in the back of my head, whispering: “What if I fail?”

Now that the launch of my first novel, Innovera Yakov: The Journey of a Thousand Eyes, is only a few weeks away, that whispering has turned into a chilling boom in my head. I have never questioned my decision to fulfil my dream of becoming an author; nor would I change a thing about the experience and, most importantly, the story.

What has struck me recently, though is, while I believe in my story, what if others don’t? What if I receive negative comments and feedback? What if people hate my book? After dedicating so much of my time and love to this story, what if I…..fail??

Anyone who has poured their heart and soul into a project will know exactly how I am feeling right now. Whether it is releasing a book, sitting an important school exam or making a big presentation at work, the fear of putting your work on show for the world to see and pass judgement on is a daunting thought; the fear of failing is heart-breaking.

As consuming and natural as this gut-wrenching fear of failure may be however, it is certainly not healthy to wallow in it. We are all human and so will all fall victim to these feelings at some point or other. The important part is learning how to overcome it.

Whenever I start to feel ‘the fear’ coming on, I stop myself and say these words: ‘Kia, you have worked far too hard to let these negative thoughts win out over your ambitions. Trust in your self-belief and the belief of others around you and embrace the adventure to come, with no fear.’

If I could pass on any piece of advice right now, it would be this: chase your dreams and trust in them with that same resolute belief of your childhood, for it is this self-belief which will prove your most powerful weapon against the fear of failure.